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## New Year Resolution: Lose Your Fear of Personal Conflict and Learn how to Confront in a Positive Way

“Lose your fear of personal conflict and learn how to face it positively”

Do your female friends find it difficult to talk to you because you are quiet and shy? Worst of all, do they see you as a weak person, even if you are a confident, responsible and honest person? What is wrong with this picture?

Well, as you already know, most of the image is a perception….. what he perceives of you is shaped by the way you do things to him. Are you a quiet and shy guy? Are your feelings so deep inside you that they are never shared? Her perception will lead her to believe that you are not attractive and that you are closed to bothering.

Is there a way?

You must first understand where this behavior of yours comes from. It may be a delayed reaction to something that happened to you earlier, in your past: maybe there was violence in your childhood, some abuse. You have long learned to protect yourself from the consequences of confrontation, now any conflict.

Years and years of that strategy have left you unable to express yourself and say what you want from a relationship… Your best response is to shut down, and say nothing.

In the present, as much as your partner asks you, it is more obvious that the more you stay silent, the more you seem to have no words. Or worst, you don’t care enough to respond….

The quieter you are, the more rejected and isolated he feels, and the more he presses for answers. This vicious cycle is never-ending, and you fully deserve the title “passive aggressive”…

No one knows that there is someone inside you willing and needing to open up! You are accused of being silent because you don’t know what you are up against inside. If you talk, worse things could happen, maybe a bad fight or a bad confrontation, and that’s the last thing you want to do!

The point here is that you don’t know how to confront in a gentle way, and this hurts all your relationships… in the end your only recourse is to walk away or stay behind.

How can you present a picture of someone with better communication skills? How can you express yourself and express your interests in a peaceful and respectful way? Here is a very simple way:

You have a difference of opinion with your lover. You said why its interest for you “NO, I don’t want to do it.” But he continues to plead…

Here you can either walk; or show strict silence, or say:

“When you … (Treat me with a project I’m not interested in)

“I feel… (under great pressure)

“Because ….. (I could use my time in a better way, but I don’t want to disappoint you)

See how easy it is? If you learn to apply this formula to other situations, you will find a very easy way to break this ugly, inner image of yourself. In this process, you open up without aggression, express your feelings and maintain a deep conversation with her. What can he ask for?

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